Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
