i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Can i not drive my cunt home
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
