i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
