You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
