...so i touched it.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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