Got a toothbrush?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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