You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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