I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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