Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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