My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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