I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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