NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
