What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
