Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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