Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you made out with another girl for some wings
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
