i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
