Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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