Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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