I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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