yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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