I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
