My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
