seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
you never un-have a 4some
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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