im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
