Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
