shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
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