is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
