I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
