Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
