He is such a slut. More and more my type.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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