Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
