i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize