people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize