carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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