Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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