my sisters under your porch take her home
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
