smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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