ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My penis needs a shock collar
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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