I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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