is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize
