And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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