i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
