Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize