I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
