i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
