So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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