fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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