Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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