Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I accidentally burped into my bong.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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