let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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