So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
