SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Your cock deserves a montage
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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