I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
