I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
