OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Of course I have a pirate flag
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
