i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
