I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize